Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize