Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
