so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
