Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
