I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
