none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
