bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
