I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
