My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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