There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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