Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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