I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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