So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
