We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
is that a dick in a sweater?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
