OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
