I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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