dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
