i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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