Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
