just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
