Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
