She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I pour the whiskey from now on
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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