he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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