Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
You're my little dorito
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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