loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
