Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
