I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
