Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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