dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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