i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
