i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize