You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
