You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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