Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
my shit smells like andre
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
