was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
