Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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