I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
