dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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