drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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