Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
a search helicopter?!
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
