We won't sleep together?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
