But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
