Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
