There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
