Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
