Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
