You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
