I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Also, beer. Big fan.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
