if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
