no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Boobs are out for the taking
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
