Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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