it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
