"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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