then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
