Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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