i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
