Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
