this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
