is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
