considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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