i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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